It’ll be 2 weeks tomorrow since Mom passed away. When do you stop counting like that? How long does it take before every tiny thing makes you think of a memory? When will I be able to stop talking about her death on this blog and start talking about her life? She really was an amazing woman and I want everyone to know her.

Soon, I hope.

Today was a hard day. We finally got Mom’s ashes and laid her to rest. I didn’t think I could get through it. All that was left of my Mom was her ashes in a marble box. Dad asked me to tell her goodbye. I couldn’t. I said them in my head, but my voice wouldn’t work. I don’t know how to say it. She was my mom, best friend and everything else that was good.

and 2 days since Mama passed away. It’s not getting easier. Will it ever? I haven’t cried in a few days, but I feel like I have a huge hole where my heart’s supposed to be.

A couple of family friends want us to go to church with them tomorrow. I just can’t. Don’t get me wrong…I still believe and have faith in God, but I’m mad. How could He take her on top of everything else that’s happened over the last few years? How could He leave Dad and I alone?

I know I’ll make peace with God, it just needs to be at my pace.